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  • Writer's pictureJay Hall

Dear Men

Dear Men,

Despite what you may have heard recently, rape is not okay. I know, perhaps you’re thinking, but that Brock guy; because he could swim, had never raped before, and a long jail sentence would be too painful for him, he got off with a slap on the wrist. 

Yes, well the judge in that case forgot something when he levelled that “punishment”. He forgot about the victim. He forgot that when she closes her eyes, she will likely feel violated for life. He forgot about the likely counselling, the feeling of insecurity, and her inability to function for life. He also forget that she was sentenced to a life of pain, and that the judge in her case was Brock.

You see, Brock will go to jail for 6-months, but the victim is sentenced to life in prison. Now, there may not be bars around her, but her mind will be a prison. How easy do you think it will be for her to trust men again? Will she be able to walk alone at night? How in control do you think she feels now?

Do you believe in love? She probably did too. Now, even if she meets the man of her dreams, she may not be able to recognize him through the haze of rape.

No, rape is never okay, not even when you’re some sort of athlete, not even if you’ve won the Super Bowl. Rape is not okay if you’ve only done it once. Rape is not okay if it’s someone you know. It’s not okay if you’re drunk. In fact, let’s keep it simple; there’s no situation in which rape is okay.

But what if I’m drunk?

Did you decide to get drunk? Then whatever you do as a result of getting drunk is your fault. I don’t drink, but I have plenty of friends and family that do. They haven’t raped anyone. So how is it that they have self-control and Brock didn’t? I know guys that have had women pass out in their cars on the way to their place. They put a blanket on her, and let her sleep it off. As a bar manager, I constantly came across drunk women, and at one point found a girl in a dumpster. I took care of her, and did not rape her. 

We didn’t rape the women we were with because we aren’t monsters. Only monsters rape women. Now, I’m not saying Brock is a monster everyday, but it is in there somewhere. Deep down inside, a monster was lurking. 

So why only Six-Months?

I understand that you’re still confused. If rape is so wrong, why did Brock Turner only get six-months in jail when the maximum punishment is fourteen-years? Well, because the judge forgot something else. While he seemingly ignored the victim, he also forgot why people go to jail in the first place. Judge Persky felt six-months was appropriate because Brock was not a danger to others. Clearly he needs to go back to law school. That’s not why we send criminals to jail. We send criminals to jail to punish them for their crimes. Again, she got a life sentence, and he got six-months. The judge has failed society. Also, to say he’s not a danger to others is disingenuous. What happens if he drinks again?

To be clear, there is no question that Brock did this. He was caught in the act. There is no question he victimized this woman.

It doesn’t matter if Brock was sorry, and it won’t matter if you are either. Rape is a crime more heinous than most, and needs to be punished to the fullest extent of the law. It also doesn’t matter that Brock said he was sorry because when Carl-Fredrik Arndt and Peter Jonsson caught Brock Turner raping this woman, he tried to run. This means he was aware enough to know he was doing something wrong.

Brock’s family and friends sent letters begging for leniency. I guess that’s what people do when someone they care about is in trouble. I’m sure some people would do the same for you. But, I know standing there, if I had done such a horrible thing, I would have asked that the letters be struck from the record. I would not deserve leniency, and I would know that if I were truly sorry.

So stop apologizing Brock. Without action, it means nothing.

Need Another Reason Not to Rape?

Every female is someone’s mother, daughter, sister, cousin, girlfriend, fiancé, wife, grandmother, friend, niece … the list goes on. Chances are you have at least one woman in your life. Now, close your eyes, and picture her unconscious behind a disgusting trash bin on the dirty ground, with some guy on top of her, enforcing pain, and anguish. 

I know, it’s hard to picture. It almost makes you want to throw up, doesn’t it? Perhaps, Brock’s dad should close his eyes before sending letters and having his daughter defend his son’s actions. I am consumed with pain and rage when I think of the women in my life being victimized. If you’re not consumed with those same emotions, you need to go get counseling … now.

So men, please sit down with a boy and fill him in. Tell him why rape is wrong, and make sure he knows that the Brock’s of this world are sick. Let them know that the law failed, Persky failed, and anyone defending him is failing now.




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