• Jay Hall

Single in Vegas



There are few cities in the world with the opportunity to meet women ranging from pretty to plastic like Las Vegas. It’s an Apple Store of high end hardware in the front, and low end accessories in the back, the back being Paradise Rd in case you didn’t know.


Behind the gated communities and the towers filled with porn stars, it would be nice if a guy could find a woman in the City of Sin who’s not looking to hedge her bets on a guy just in case. Sure, it’s all sparklers and champagne at first, but in order to succeed in the dating scene of Lost Vegas it seems like you need a professional diagnosis of ADHD, the 8k variety.

That would be perfectly fine with me except for the fact that I’ve passed my morally bankrupt stage. No, I don’t see much worth in treating the women of this adopted city to most of us like jewelry hanging in a Forum Shoppes store window. If you’re going to invest, might as well invest in the long term.


That’s not to say that fun and fucking should be outlawed, but for this hombre, intellectual stimulation can often trump a roll in the gaming chips.


Three things are certain:


One, the men in this town need to stop compensating and just say hello without the keys to their Audi hanging off their finger, because those be the chaps that end up crying themselves to sleep.


Two, though doctors can fix the little imperfections that a woman might have, you should know it’s the little imperfections that make you rad as fuck.  


Three, it’s okay to go to bed alone once in awhile. It’s good for the soul, even though you sold it for free entry to the strip club long ago.


The larger picture though, is that “hi” still works better than that pickup line you found on the internet, or buying that drink. And ladies, I know that at times “hi” sounds like begging for sex, but it’s honestly the most timid and thoughtful introduction in 2017. If you read between the lines you’ll find a guy that might actually be interested in what comes out from between your lips, rather than just putting something in there.


I guess what I’m trying to say is the show can be grande, alluring, and tempting, but we’re all happier in the end tangled up under a blanket with the same person we were there with yesterday … even if we don’t know it yet.


PS - Guys, blonde hair does not a slut make (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Assumptions be the devil.

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