The 100 Things You Should Know After You’re Done Being a Kid
I feel before I publish another arbitrary list to the Internet that not too many people will care about, I must define “kid”. A kid, for our immediate purposes can be 12, or 50. It really depends when a person is actually done maturing into an individual that understands they have such a little, yet such a large part to play. Becoming an adult requires a certain level of maturity that some never obtain, and some are forced to obtain too soon. So here it is—the list.
001. Nothing gets easier. Nothing gets harder. Nothing matters. All that matters is how you respond.
002. Through it all, the only people that will truly have your back are family.
003. Family is not someone you are connected to by blood. It’s someone that will gladly take it on the shins for you, and smack you when you’re playing stupid.
004. Nothing is certain—not even death and taxes. Avoiding both requires extraordinary contribution.
005. Politics and policy are irrelevant, as long as they are bought and paid for.
006. You need weekends. Try and figure out a way to have them. This doesn’t mean you’re entitled to every one, but you should make time for most.
007. Marijuana is not bad for you—in fact, just the opposite. The PLANT is one of the most diverse substances on earth.
008. Cigarettes are bad for you. 1 stick, or 1 pack a day.
009. War has never solved a major underlying issue. EVER. It’s simply the most expensive band-aid ever made.
010. Sex is great, but eventually you won’t be able to do it anymore. When you find the person that you can see yourself with after that happens, do anything to keep them.
011. People lie. They do this many times a day. Don’t act surprised. You do it too. The key is to not lie to yourself, and not lie unnecessarily.
012. If your car is pimped out, and it’s not related to your job, you might want to check your priorities.
013. The only possessions in this life we can take with us to the grave are “memories”.
014. Everyone saw their divorce coming. See point 011.
015. No one knows what happens after we die. It’s currently scientifically impossible.
016. As long as rulers continue to rule by law written prior to a generation’s innovation, we will always be stuck.
017. If every building had solar panels, and wind farms were placed in remote areas, we wouldn’t need a drop of oil.
018. Just because it’s written on the Internet, does not mean it’s true. Research, discover, source.
019. If you can’t afford a house of your own, a car, to pay your bills, and if you still live for the club, you should not have a child.
020. We all want what we can’t have. Then we get it, and we want something else. Remember that before you make an impulsive decision.
021. If you cheat on your partner (however it’s defined in your relationship) you don’t truly love them. Define what cheating is to you both from the start. If you can’t agree, don’t continue.
022. After 35, if you’re still experimenting (and risking it all), you better be single without children, otherwise, you’re just a jerk.
023. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know”. Smarty pants follow up with, “Inform me.”
024. Never call yourself an expert. If you are indeed one, others will let you know.
025. You need exercise, and nutrients.
026. Sex is always better when you can look the other person in the eye (depending on the position of course).
027. Everyone’s different. Nothing and everything applies to you, and it’s your job to figure out what works.
028. Everything is a chemical reaction. Understanding how the chemicals in your body react will take you places you only dreamed of.
029. Being good at your job means you recognize the patterns that make up success. If you’re not willing to learn your craft, stop pretending it’s your craft.
030. Your brain is a muscle. Exercise. Otherwise, it will get fat and lazy—like that uncle you can’t stand.
031. Celebrity culture is a waste of our time.
032. No job is beneath you. You are where you are as a direct result of your actions, or lack there of.
033. Don’t hate the police. Much like every group of people, there are some jackassholes amongst many amazing cops.
034. There’s actually 4 sides to every story; what happened, what you believe happened, what the other people believe happened, and what matters.
035. ADD is bullshit.
036. Firefighters, EMTs & cops should make more than anyone that plays a sport for a living. Respect these people, for at some point you’ll likely need them.
037. If you didn’t do the research, shut the fuck up.
038. There’s always a way to skip the line.
039. Global Warming is real. Just because it happened before does not mean we’re not going to make it happen in a manner far worse than ever.
040. 4 Problems we need to solve; making the ocean consumable, relying on tradition, renewable everything, and segmenting (by nation, by gender, by race, etc.).
041. The political system, as it stands now, in every country is shameful.
042. Money actually holds no real value because gold holds no real value. Contribution should be currency.
043. Punishing anyone for the mistakes of their ancestors is ignorant, and wrong.
044. After the credits, every relationship has it’s ups and downs.
045. Being cool is largely uncool … and a complete waste of time.
046. Celebrate your successes, celebrate the knowledge that came out of your mistakes.
047. Hate is a waste of time.
048. Love isn’t.
049. Even without the bible we all know the difference between right and wrong. If you did wrong, fuck off with your complaining about the repercussions.
050. Just because it was said in a rap song, doesn’t make it gospel. Not even the gospel is gospel.
051. Everyone’s a hypocrite at some point.
052. Gossip is the conversation of the weak.
053. There’s good and bad on TV, in books, and online. No medium is better than the other.
054. Always get a second opinion.
055. The second you stop admitting you can be wrong, you’ve lost your way.
056. Get some will power.
057. Your dreams likely matter. Just because we don’t understand why now, means nothing.
058. The official story behind 9/11 has inconsistencies. The kid that accused MJ of molestation admitted he lied when he was older. People once thought Earth was flat. Think about it.
059. YOLO isn’t an excuse to be an idiot. It’s the reason you should think.
060. We all hate our jobs at some point. It’s when you hate it more than you love it, that you need to re-evaluate.
061. Public opinion can be bought. Personal opinion is the only truth you’ll ever know.
062. Having a baby, or getting married, aren’t accomplishments. They’re simply moments that you will take to the grave. Think about that before you take on either.
063. Global communication will mean zip if we don’t learn how to communicate with our neighbours.
064. No means no. Yes means yes. Blue means blue. Banana means banana.
065. You’re not tough. You just haven’t met the one that can take you out yet.
066. Stop pretending.
067. Nothing is better than a road trip if you do it right.
068. Don’t build a legacy for your children. Build a life for yourself.
069. Money isn’t everything, but you need it unfortunately, so stop being lazy.
070. “I love you,” can’t be said enough when you truly mean it.
071. There’s nothing in this life worse than self-fulfilling prophecy.
072. You never really know, so you should never really judge.
073. If you don’t teach your son to respect women, you failed.
074. Masterbation is not a sin. It’s a release.
075. Anyone and anything can be “good on paper”.
076. You’ll have sex less when you’re serious about a relationship; just don’t let it stop unless physically unable.
077. Hackers aren’t all evil, just as every pastor isn’t a saint.
078. Everyone has some sort of dark side. Don’t forget it when you’re planning on wronging someone.
079. You may have a fist, but he may have a gun. Use your words.
080. If it’s not rational, it’s not worth your time.
081. Fear is simply a lack of understanding. Learn. Conquer.
082. Go outside and look up. I mean really look. Are you still a big deal?
083. Everything is energy. Be positive and you’ll attract the same.
084. Nature will always win in the end. Respect it.
085. Help someone in some way. Feel that? That’s called happiness.
086. Some people are different from you, just like you’re different from them. Remember that before you cast that stone.
087. If you care what the masses think, get a quiet job.
088. All things are relative, including beauty.
089. No alcoholic looks back at their life, and feels fulfilled.
090. Tattoos do not make a person evil. Tattoos of swastikas and a pledge to murder all … that’s evil.
091. If you want to dance, dance.
092. If you want to scream, scream.
093. We all have aggression. Find constructive use for it.
094. The cheapest, and the most expensive are usually the one’s you want to stay away from.
095. Those who steal, will tell you they’ve been robbed.
096. The greatest barrier to peace is language.
097. What we know today, will be seen as archaic tomorrow, just as what we knew yesterday is.
098. You start out with a plan, but nothing goes exactly as you intended. Don’t sweat that which you cannot change.
099. Know that you often think too much, and think too little. Life is all about balance. Trite, but true.
100. Cliches may be cliche, but enough people had to utter them, that a morsel of truth must be in there somewhere.
WRITTEN BY JAMIE HALL Writer, Entrepreneur & Fan of Superman from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada